I want to introduce you to our angel daughter, Zoe Rose, for whom this Foundation is named and in whose honor we will do this work. Even from the early days after her birth she seemed to be special, a little different. She had these beautiful green eyes that people commented on, eyes that were far too knowing and intense for an infant weighing a mere pound and a half. Each time the doctors feared the worst, she’d take a turn for the better. When the doctors started talking about a tracheotomy in her future she said, “Nope, not me,” and finally came off the ventilator successfully. When they said “Zoe has a blocked vocal chord and is profoundly deaf, and this may inhibit her ability to communicate,” she replied with “ha” and “ba” and could identify and follow simple instructions. When they said, “This aggressive form of steroid therapy could cause long term damage to her brain function,” she blossomed in her parent-infant classes with her teacher of the deaf, advancing in her understanding far more than any other baby her teacher had seen before. When they said, “It will be a long time before she’ll eat by mouth,” she responded with a sense of humor and mimicked chewing with a smile and a giggle.
Zoe had so many odds stacked against her. She had very real and serious medical conditions and developmental delays. She had every right to be a fussy, demanding infant. She underwent hours and hours of physical therapy, speech therapy, and language development. Zoe rarely cried, ever, and she always (and I do mean always) woke up with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes.
During her 9 ½ months in the NICU she came in contact with countless people, other NICU parents, medical staff, doctors, specialists, etc and there was something calm about her demeanor that drew these people to her. There was something about the way she smiled at each and every person; despite all the lines and tubes and monitors hooked up to her, she didn’t notice all of that “stuff”, she was just a happy, cuddly little girl who loved to laugh and make others laugh. Despite her limited ability to communicate (she was an infant after all), she exuded love and compassion.
She was a strong, courageous little girl. She taught us to give of ourselves, to love unconditionally and to see people from the inside out, not the outside in. She fought hard to stay alive all those months in the NICU and yet, in the end, when her ultimate fight was almost over, she was so calm and at peace. I will always remember the last moments when I saw her eyes open, she reached up to twirl a piece of my hair and she squeezed my finger…it wasn’t a squeeze of desperation or out of pain, it was a squeeze of reassurance for me, her mother, that she was going to be just fine once she left this Earth.
Since Zoe’s death many people who knew her and many who never got a chance to meet her in person have been touched by her story and by her life. Some have shared instances in their lives where they believe Zoe has sent messages to them in various ways. Zoe was born an angel on Earth and will remain as such forevermore.
Email: info@zoerose.org